


Speak from your heart.

by Jaquiele



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: All Platonic - Freeform, Feelings, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I love that tag, Mentioned Chirithy (Kingdom Hearts), Mentioned Lauriam (Kingdom Hearts), Mentioned Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Mentioned Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Sad Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Sora had enough, Spoilers - Kingdom Hearts III, The Final World, Vanitas is not prepared for the love that Sora has to give, Vanitas is secretly proud of Sora, Xehanort (Kingdom Hearts) Bashing, remember selfcare is important, sort of redemption arc?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 01:10:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17839526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaquiele/pseuds/Jaquiele
Summary: Overwhelmed with his friends and life, Sora seeks out a recent friend. Because everybody gets lonely, right?What do you mean he's in that "everybody" as well? Oh no, he's fine, really!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler ban lifted, prepare to get hit with feels. I'm all aboard The Nameless Star is Strelitzia hype train!

The lightness of his body was slightly unnerving now that he knew he was practically dancing on the line of life and death. A lot of things were unnerving nowadays, when he kept pestering people about explaining stuff, instead of dropping it altogether. Thank gods, his body wasn’t semitransparent, so he was okay, as far as he knew. With a deep breath, he started running across the endless water-y beauty of the Final World.

There was no directions, no left, right, behind, just the vast space of water and sky, touching in the far distance, never getting closer, nor further. But Sora was determined to find the particular star again, she seemed to know a lot more and was way more aware of her surroundings than anyone else around here, now that Chirithy was back to real worlds.

Honestly, it was kind of calming, just running, not feeling any exhaustion, his steps light as feathers, the soft slosh of water filling his ears. It allowed him to clear his mind, as he had no responsibilities here, he wasn’t the Guardian of Light, he wasn’t the chosen boy. He wasn’t Roxas’ somebody, he wasn’t the kid that should be dead but somehow managed to come back to life. He just _was_. His mind wandered so far he almost missed the slight chuckle.

“Hello. Sora, was it?”

He slid a bit further on his shoes, not daring a sharp stop (as much as he loved water, no one enjoyed wet face), after he lost the impetus completely, he turned around to the glimmering shape.

“Hi Star! I’m so glad I found you! After I got back to my worlds I found out that Chirithy went to find his friend, so I thought I’d pay you a visit, so you don’t get lonely!”

The brunette wasn’t exactly sure how it was possible, but he _knew_ that if the girl had a face, it would be smiling brightly. Maybe it was the slight warmth that filled his chest, like she was showing him her emotions through his heart.

“Your worlds? Sounds like an adventure. And I know about Chi, I told him to go for it, after all, it’s not like I’m going anywhere. At least now he’ll go to find his boy. If what you say is true, he might have already did so.”

Even if she didn’t say it out loud, Sora could feel the unspoken ‘ _thank you for not forgetting’_.

“Yeah… it was… something else. What about you? Has this Laurien showed up?”

“Lauriam.”

“Sorry.” he scratched his head and smiled sheepishly.

“It’s okay. He did not, but… I can feel him thinking about me. I think he found his true heart. It is like I told you, were he to regain his old self again, he would be distressed by my absence.”

“Well, I’m really glad he remembers you!”

“Besides, some new people came, I have even been reunited with an old friend. He had changed, but his heart recognized mine.”

“That’s awesome! Maybe I’ll met him too!”

“Perhaps. What about you Sora? Have you seen to those tasks?”

“I think I did. Back then… there was a war, I had no choice but to fight.”

Feeling his entire body slightly shaking, he opted for sitting down, just like the previous time. This girl didn’t know about the war. She didn’t know that he was supposed to be a hero, that he should have stopped Xehanort and the entire Organization. She didn’t know any of this, to her, Sora was just Sora, a boy who almost died, but believed hard enough that he eventually got a second chance. Perhaps that lack of knowledge made it easier to talk about it. Or maybe because she didn’t know he was supposed to be always happy, always smiling. Shaking his head, he looked in the distance, watching other star shaped lights drifting through the nothingness.

“There was this old man, who wanted to hurt people. He even hurt my friends. Multiple times. He messed up quite a lot of worlds too. But me and my friends managed to put him back in his place, but then he came back and everything was even worse, he wanted to start a war. Wait, did I mention that I’m a keyblade wielder? Because I- “ but something made his words die in his throat.

Was he, really? The keyblade only choose him because Riku messed up way to badly. And no one passed the ability to him, he was only able to wield it because of Ventus’ heart inside. His own nobody didn’t even looked like him, taking the appearance of the sleeping blonde. Was it because his heart was stronger? Was his heart even his anymore? What if one day he would wake up and he won’t be able to summon it anymore? What if everybody would leave him now that there was no use of him?

No, they wouldn’t do that, they were his friends! …right?

“-ra!”

_Huh?_

“Sora, please talk to me, you are worrying me.”

“I just… I don’t know. Something… something is wrong with me. I feel sad and empty and…” he could feel the tears gathering in his eyes.

Of course he was going to cry, he was just a stupid crybaby after all. And yet, he kind of wanted to cry. No, he _needed_ to cry.

“I always though I was supposed to protect my friends, _I wanted to protect them_! I still do, but I couldn’t even do that. Something is wrong with me and I don’t even know what!” fat tears were rolling down his cheeks, his nose disgustingly full (Sora knew he was an ugly crier, one more reason to hate crying). The star only drifted closer, allowing him to gather her in his arms and cling to her desperately, offering a tiny bit of comfort, whilst he tried to silence his sobs.

”I wasn’t even supposed to get that keyblade, it was my friend’s but he did bad things and- and- and I got it, and then I lost it, but it came back, and he got a new one, because he’s stronger, and smarter than me, and everybody says I should be like him, but I don’t want to! I just want to be myself!”

He was aware he was rambling right now, wet voice, sniffling frequently, not even bothering to wipe his eyes or his nose. But it was like a dam breaking, once he actually started talking about his fears, he couldn’t stop. After all, she met him only once. Maybe she won’t judge him as harshly as the others. Maybe she would let him cry his eyes out and never mention it again (because _he knew_ Riku and Kairi wouldn’t judge him, but they would try and make him explain what he meant, but how could he if he didn’t even knew what was wrong in the first place?).

“But then we had an exam for the mark that we were masters of those keyblades, and before that, I saved the world twice! And I still failed! I couldn’t even pass a stupid test that was rigged from the beginning! And I was okay with that, really! I know what I can do, I don’t need a stupid mark! But then everybody was pointing out how I failed, how I fell asleep and almost lost myself, and how I still need to work, and they keep saying that I’m stupid, and I just want them to stop! I want to go home, I want to sit at the beach, I want to make campfires, I want to fish, I want to hug my mom, I just-“

So absorbed in his own insecurities, he didn’t notice the footsteps behind him and the faint slosh of water signaling someone’s movement.

“Who said that?”

Whipping his head and hugging the star closer, Sora stared at a face he never expected to see again. He tried to respond, but only a broken sob came out of his mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long!

“Who. Called. You. Stupid.” Each word was cold, dripping with venom, accentuated with a growl at the end. _A freaking growl._ He wasn’t sure if the fact that Vanitas’ eyes were no longer golden, but crimson red now (like a blood, his mind supplied) scared him more or less. Does that mean he’s free from Xehanort now?

Finally, still shocked, he choked out a small ‘they’ and flinched upon seeing the pure rage and hatred on the other’s face.

“I’ll kill them.” He suddenly snarled. “No one calls you stupid, expect me brat.”

Surprised, he met the other’s boy eyes again, confusion clearly visible in the blue orbs.

“Vanitas, please stop, you are scaring him.” the sweet, but firm tone reminded Sora that he was still curled around the nameless star.

Much to his shock, said boy closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his fists still clenched.

“I’ll stop when ‘they’ are fucking dead.” But he just crouched next to Sora, staring at him intensely.

Completely lost, the brunette felt even more tears fall down. He didn’t even know if he was sad or scared anymore, each of his emotions just blurring together in a big mess.

“But… but you hate me!”

Sora was sure he was a really pitiful sight, wet, blotchy face, runny nose, his body shaking slightly, like it couldn’t decide if he should flee or stay. Vanitas probably thought he was disgusting. What kind of hero had a crying fest instead of being happy that he was alive?

He didn’t expect the irritated sound that Vanitas made, nor the angry scoff from the star.

“I know you’re bad at this, but in case you didn’t noticed, _I don’t_ have a body, unlike you. So please Vanitas, use your remaining braincells.”

With another growl, the darker boy muttered something under his breath, that sounded suspiciously like ‘fucking unicornis’ and suddenly Sora found himself enveloped in the most awkward hug in his entire life.

“They don’t deserve you, idiot. None of them do. They don’t deserve your light.”

Since he had no idea what was going on, but he never said no to a hug, he let go of the star and shuffled closer to Vanitas, gripping him tightly. He couldn’t die here, so might as well test his luck (he was still upset about the whole ‘I am darkness’ thing, especially since Ventus told him that the other boy was, and he’s quoting ‘extra dramatic complete ass with light’ who is his own being, and that Ven will be looking for him. Something about not trusting him with dying. And people still said that his and Roxas relationship was weird.)

“That’s the world’s worst hug ever.” He sniffled unsure.

“Shut up stupid. Just stop crying or I’m going to kill someone.”

“I don’t get it. You’re being mean and awful, and calling me names, but you’re hugging me. I don’t get you Vanitas.”

“I told you before and that fucking moron. Only I get to call you stupid.”

“You’re doing it again!” he cried.

Pushing himself away, Sora stared at the other boy in disbelief. With surprise he noticed that Vanitas was beet red and avoiding his eyes.

“And to think you’re the same boy who kept bringing me flowers every time the flower shop had my namesake’s.”

“How about I start bringing you knives so I can stab myself every time you say something dumb?!”

The star only laughed softly. Vanitas growled once more and turned expectantly to Sora.

“Well? You’re done with crying idiot?

“But you said-!”

“No, not idiot, like stupid. Just… _idiot_. You’re idiot like Venty Wenty.”

“What does that even mean!” he cried out finally moving to stand instead of the awkward half kneel he did before. “First you call him your brother, then you call him idiot, then again with brother and back on with your stupid stuff, and then you call _me_ an idiot!”

With a snarl Vanitas straightened to his full height (and weren’t they the same height last time he saw him…?) and crossed his arms.

“Gee, I wonder what could it mean, really.”

At the sarcastic voice Sora briefly wondered if Vanitas too played a part in Roxas’ creation, because neither him nor Ventus were _that_ cynical. Still that didn’t help him at all, the black haired wielder staring at him mockingly and clearly content with being no help whatsoever. It reminded him a bit of Riku when they were younger and how instead of explaining, his friend kept repeating that he’ll understand once he’ll get olde… _oh._ And suddenly it made sense. The names, the threats, the hug. He could feel a tiny smile forming on his lips and upon seeing Vanitas’ scowl deepening, it only grew bigger. He wiped his face with the soft part of his glove.

“Soooooo, we make a greater whole?”

“Fuck you.”

“So that is ‘the light itself’?”

What.

Vanitas seemed to share Sora’s thoughts, albeit much more vocally.

“WHAT THE FUCK STRELA?! YOU FUCKING TRAITOR I TRUSTED YOU!” he screeched at the glimmering star with pure horror on his face.

“Wait, that’s your name? Hey, you know your name!” Sora cheered raising his hand for a high five and then dropping it with a nervous laugh. “Right, no body.”

“It’s okay. As I told you, I have met an old friend of mine who recognized me and it is the only reason I have gotten it back. Although I did not expect you to know my friend as well. I believe I don’t have to introduce you two.”

“Huh?! Wait, Vanitas? He’s that friend?!”

“Fuck off brat, just because I don’t go blasting about it left and right about friendship and magic and shit doesn’t mean I never…”

“But Ventus said you don’t have friends…”

“Well Ventus can go and fuck himself, jokes on him, mutual friends, or whatever. He’s the one who fucked up, not me.”

“But you were the same-!”

“Well yes! No! Screw you brat, he kept the body so it’s his fault.”

“Vanitas, Sora, please stop.” Both of them stiffened slightly upon hearing their names. “I shouldn’t really be surprised, you two look very similar.”

“I… I think it’s my fault. It’s because I-“

The brunette certainly didn’t expect the scoff that interrupted him.

“It’s because Ventus is a fucking moron and the old geezer was a fucking psycho. You were a fucking baby so even more stupid. Than Venty Wenty. Hope the bald ass is dead. Or that my dumbass light at least got one hit for me. For fucks sake that’s the only thing I ever asked him for.”

“Um… he did…not? Buuuuut! I did, sooo, you know, since I’m your brother…” And here Sora allowed himself to grin, but dropped it, gasping. “So that’s what Ven meant by not trusting you to die!”

“Heh. Jokes on him, I’ve been trying to die for a year, then stopped for like 9, then back with this shit we go. Believe me, I don’t either in that area.”

“No, I mean… he said once Terra gets better, he’s going to look for you. Because he can’t trust you to be dead. And that you’re ‘over dramatic extra ass’ who was smiling too widely for dying .” Glancing at Vanitas’ face he quickly waved his hands. “Uhh! I’m quoting! His words! Not mine! I swear!”

“He’s… he’s going to look? For me…?”

Sora admitted that he didn’t really know the other wielder that much, but still, he could easily say that the tone of his voice was unusual, barely above whisper. It seemed more like he was asking himself, rather than the younger boy. Allowing him a moment to sort out whatever was going through his head, he took a look at him.

Surprisingly, gone was the organic-y suit. The clothes he had on looked like any other clothes he could find at a store. Plain black pants and turtleneck sleeveless shirt made him look… almost normal. Like he was just a moody teenager, instead of a personified darkness of another. Heck, he even had a bracelet with a tiny silver star dangling at his wrist. The only things that remained the same were the high shoes that he had previously and the spiky messy hairstyle Sora knew oh so well (and if it wasn’t for Riku’s stubbornness on Kairi’s behalf, he would be probably still sporting the same haircut; not like it was bad, but the three of them getting a symbolical haircut was cheesy _even_ _for him_ ). Honestly, he could see from where Vanitas was coming with his ‘brother’ comments.

What brought him out of his staring was the unsettling feeling in his stomach and slight lightheadedness.

“Sora, I think you are waking up in your world.”

“Huh.”

Taking a look at his hands he could see them becoming faded (thank gods in a different way than before, not water-y at all).

“Guess I am.”

“What are you waiting for then little brat? Go, wake up, don’t be a sleeping prince like that looser. I’d say go and make me proud or something but I doubt you have a bad bone in your body, so scramble.”

“Strel?”

“It’s actually Strelitzia. Although my brother used to call me Strela if I recall correctly. It is still a bit foggy, even with Vanitas’ help.”

“You remember what Chirithy said about this place? People are here, because there is still something holding them back from fading, right?”

“Yes, he did say such. Why are you asking?”

Taking a deep breath and putting on a small grin he turned to the black haired boy.

“Because I think someone is too stubborn too admit they want another chance too.”

“WHAT?! Don’t push it brat, I’m going to fucking drown you in this puddle if you say shit like this again. _I choose it_ , remember?”

“What I remember is you just wanting to decide about yourself. Not Xehanort, not Ventus and not me. Aaaaand you decided. But your decision was stupid, because you deserve a second chance just like the others, a free start.” Feeling his eyelids getting heavier and his body fading out he had still just enough time for his last words. “Besides, I always wanted a cool brother, no way I’m letting go that easily.”

The last thing he saw was Vanitas opening and closing his mouth, clearly at loss, and the Star – Strelitzia – drifting closer to him, giggling slitghtly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sora, you can't just befriend everyone."  
> "Look, people go into two categories: friends and possible friends."  
> jk  
> I really like the idea of Vanitas secretly being proud of Sora for messing with Xehanort's plans so much. And for beating him multiple times. Also not only Ventus is a brother, but Sora too.  
> I'm not saying that the whole Vanitas arc was bad. I liked it in a way, but it's Van we're talking about, would he be smillig so smugly and talking about shadows and all if he didn't had something in mind? I think not.  
> I don't think it's canon, but I have this headcanon that pre split Ventus tried to befriend Strelitzia, but not having much experience and her being shy it didn't quite go past sometimes awkwardly talking to each other. And once it started to, Strelitzia 'dissapeares' so Ven is all alone again. It's past midnight in my timezone and I have to get up in like 6 hours, so maybe I'll later add some thoughts to the notes. Hope you enjoyed this story!

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's that! 
> 
> Sora always struck me as a kid similiar to me, always bottling things up, if you don't thnik about it for to long then you don't have to worry about it. Also he was confirmed to rather keep problems to himself instead of talking to his friends, because he doesn't want to bother them. SORA YOU SILLY NOODLE, TALK TO SOMEONE!
> 
> Also yes, they did him dirty, he fucking deserves that master title.


End file.
